Tales of Nell's Excellent Budapest Adventure: November 2011

I cannot believe the day has come! This is so sad! Our time is coming to an end and I want to cry.

But I am so happy we ended our field studies with a bang. The Holocaust Memorial Museum was a great place to visit and a great way to tie everything together. It meant a lot for me to see this place because after being to Auschwitz-Birkenau and learning that the Hungarians accounted for the largest amount of victims, seeing a memorial dedicated to them was really quite fascinating. I was interested to hear that the reason the memorial was built was because the state felt it had to take responsibility for what happened to its Jews in the Holocaust. I was interested to hear from our tour guide that there are people in Budapest that still deny the Holocaust and even go as far as to say that the Jews did it to themselves. Of course we have people like that in America, who deny 9/11 and the Holocaust, but to have people in the country where 430,000 people were deported and murdered, denying that it happened? Thats just absurd.

I think the museum did a wonderful job depicting the events. The fact that it was set up not in chronological order but instead from deprivation of rights to genocide was really neat and it helped to really feel like you were a part of what was happening. I think its a very useful, unique touch. I wish we had more time to walk around and look at things ourselves because I could have spent hours in there reading all the stories and the captions to the photos and the quotes. However, our tour guide was very informative and I was impressed with all her knowledge. So also did a good job incorporating us into her discussion by asking us questions. I cannot stress enough how cool I think it is that we recognize names of the people we see and hear about and actually understand who they are and what they did. Its so awesome to be able to follow along in history and connect everything together because we have learned it so well! I am so happy to know Hungarian history so well- I think its awesome when we see Hero Square and Parliament in photos and videos because we see this stuff every day!

These are the original wooden pews from the Synagogue.

Names of people who died in the Holocaust that were bring honored in the Synagogue.

There was only 1 original picture of the synagogue left and from that they were able to restore the synagogue.

Aside from all the cool things I learned from the tour, I thought a lot about how this visit connected to my tour to Auschwitz. One thing that really surprised me was that I saw more disturbing things in this memorial museum than in Auschwitz. Of course it was incredibly disturbing to stand inside a gas chamber, not much could top that, and seeing all the human hair and shoes... but some of the photos and video footage I saw today was the most horrifying thing I have seen yet. There was one video that showed bodies being bulldozed into a ditch and they just crumbled and got destroyed beneath the giant machine. That was the most awful thing I have seen yet. I saw babies just hanging off of stretchers and people whose bones were protruding out of their body. Of course I've seen such things as that, but not to the extent I saw today and it was AWFUL.

It also blows my mind how every time I visit somewhere about the Holocaust I learn a million new things. I think the one thing though that I still just can't get over is that the Hungarians accounted for the biggest population of the victims. When I visited Auschwitz and heard the giant number of 430,000 Hungarians I could not believe it- I had no idea. And hearing it again today just reminded me of how awful it was for the country. If you noticed on the map, the poor VIII district really took some bad blows. I understand everything happened there first because Eastern Hungary was closest to the Soviet Union and the Nazi's did not want the Soviets to liberate the Jews.

I am excited to continue learning more, even after I go home about the Holocaust and the other history that comes from Hungary. I would like to visit the US Holocaust Museum now and see how that perspective differs from what I have seen over here. I just think it is so cool- after watching the Agnes movie about the 1956 revolution last night and then being in the memorial museum today and learning about everything that happened from the Hungarian perspective, I feel like I have actually been involved in all of this. I consider this my home and I just strangely have come to feel so involved in all these things we learn about. I have never had a great interest in history- UNTIL NOW. Now I am just so fascinated by this country and how recently it has been fighting for its freedom and I love learning about all of it. It is just so cool and I feel really connected to all of it, which is an awesome thing to realize.

Remembering the Holocaust: from the US Perspective: this is a video from the United States Holocaust Museum- interesting to see a perspective from home. The woman in it says, "memory is what shapes up. memory is what teaches us." We can see a connection to the European mindset of cultural memory and how it has shaped society, what Laszlo has spoken to us about.

I am so thankful for all our great field studies experiences, it has been great. This one is definitely a keeper. GOOD WORK JSBP, we've done good. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

Two weekends ago, I was lucky enough to get the experience to travel to Krakow, Poland to visit Auschwitz. Coming up on this trip, we really had no expectations or focus on anything because we were traveling mainly to see Auschwitz. We quickly found out that Krakow is a BEAUTIFUL city and had so much to see and do! We were amazed and fell in love quickly. Of course, just like every other trip, we managed to meet some incredible people along the way. We met this amazing couple from Australia and spent our whole last day on the free walking tours with them, then went out to dinner and had a nighttime carriage ride! It was excellent! They were the cutest people EVER and now we are friends forever AKA I am going to Australia. We stayed in a perfect little hostel, complete with a very nice looking men's Rugby team. Minus the nightmare of transportation on this trip, everything was perfect. Krakow is definitely a little gem of a city that I do not think many people consider to be a very touristy spot but it is definitely worth a visit. We discovered market square, which is a huge open square with tons of shopping and cafes. Inside of market square is Cloth Hall, which is like an indoor market. The first night we explored around market square and then found this adorable little restaurant where we sat at a romantic table for two, obviously, and got a delicious meal! We thought we were experiencing Polish food- we found out later in our trip that it was Georgian food. Classic. Anyway, it was delicious and SUPER CHEAP! Poland is even cheaper than Budapest which is pretty shocking.

the clock tower! in the bottom is a pub and an old TORTURE CHAMBER! in medieval times they used to torture people for entertainment and DRINK and watch! CRAZY.

Market Square!

a piece of modern art given to the Krakow SUCH A COOL THING!

Cloth Hall

St. Mary's Church!

Cloth Hall at night!

My first meal! Not polish.....

The next day was the trip to Auschwitz. Leading up to this trip, Dad was asking me if I was prepared for what I was about to see. I said, yes of course. Many of my other friends were asking me the same thing. It seemed like a no brainer to me, like of course I knew what I was going to see and I was ready. WRONG. From the second our tour guide led us onto the grounds and we stood under the entrance with "Arbeit Macht Frei" above out heads, I realized there was no way I was going to be able to handle what I saw. The first part of our day was the tour of Auschwitz, before heading to Birkenau. Our tour guide was excellent and did a fantastic job showing us around. We saw barracks that were used for all different causes. Some were where the Nazi doctors did their experiments, others dedicated to all the Hungarian Jews who were sent there and even the one with the political prisoners, complete with the death wall outside. The horrors that I saw in this place cannot be described. It was just absolutely awful. As I walked around the camp, and heard all the stories and realized I was standing on the grounds of the Holocaust I realized I was not prepared. The feelings are hard to explain. My mind had just shut off from the second the guide started talking. I couldn't even begin to understand where I was or what it mean because I was so in shock. For once in my life, I didn't talk for over an hour. Your brain just shuts off and you don't know what to think or how to feel. It was like I was a robot just being directed through the camp. Dad says it is a self defense thing and I believe he is right. Even when I stood INSIDE THE GAS CHAMBER, I had nothing to say or think. I felt sick to my stomach and unsure of even how to take it in. Looking at the massive piles of shoes and hair was definitely the hardest part. I had to hurry out of that room because that was the one thing I could not stomach. It was real tough to be on these grounds and try to sort out your feelings because all you can feel is the pit in your stomach and the fight to hold back tears. There was one room in one of the barracks that had all the photos of people from that group who had been killed. They were each individually pictured and the photos were framed and hanging on the wall. I was honestly horrified to think about someone coming on this tour and seeing their relative. I was even more distraught to see flowers hanging on certain pictures. Someone knew they were going to see that person on the wall. Can you imagine? Talk about having strength- I don't know how one stomachs something like that. Auschwitz was tough to see for sure, but I had no idea what feelings were going to come when I stepped into Birkenau.

Polish countryside!

This is the replica sign. The real one was stolen but they have it back- in the museum. It means "work will set you free."

human ashes memorial. HUMAN ASHES.

Cyclone B. This is what they dropped into the gas chambers and the heat of the bodies activated it, causing internal suffocation.

eyeglasses.

baby shoes :(

shoes and shoes and shoes and more shoes

full room of SHOES

always remember, never forget

Death Wall- where political prisoners were lined up and shot

inside a gas chamber. the sign outside the door said "You are in a building where the SS murdered thousands of people. Please maintain silence here: remember their suffering and show respect for their memory."

Birkenau was the biggest concentration camp. Auschwitz was more for the working population, Birkenau was for the exterminations. IT WAS AWFUL. When I was in Auschwitz, it was more buildings and more like a labor camp feel. When I stepped on the grounds of Birkenau THAT is what I pictured when I thought about the Holocaust. Miles and miles of empty land with train tracks and fences. Thousands of barracks had been burned down by the Nazis so miles of chimneys were left standing. The gas chambers had been destroyed as evidence but we were able to see ruins. Some of the barracks, wooden and brick, were left standing and we were able to go inside. SICKENING how these people were forced, 3 to one pallet, this tiny hard uncomfortable "bed". More like a stall for an animal. The most absurd thing that I saw in the barracks was the German writing on the wall saying "Be Quiet!" EXCUSE ME? Be quiet when I am stuffed in this tiny ass wooden stall starving and freezing? OH HELL NO. Absolutely absurd. We walked forever along the train tracks to an actual car used to bring in the Jews. It was a tiny little thing, and up to 200 people were expected to fit in up, and for the people coming from Greece it could have been a 9 day journey. This car was parked on the tracks and I could not believe I was seeing it.

train car that transported thousands into Birkenau

ruins of the destroyed gas chamber

some of the chimneys from the barracks left standing after they were burned down

a brick barrack

inside of the brick barack- 3 people to one pallet.

"be quiet"

these are the "toilets"

There is not much of a way to describe Birkenau as you'll see in my photos there isn't much to say about either place. Its dark, depressing and disturbing. As I asked our tour guide, "How do you do this everyday? Don't you get sad?" and she replied, "I don't get sad anymore, I am too angry to get sad." OF COURSE SHE IS ANGRY. Are you serious? Power to this girl, she was an incredible guide and I just do not know how she has the strength to do this everyday but I mean its a great feeling to know you are educating the world about this awful mass murder and that you are helping people to understand the horrors of what really happened. As we left, and I walked down on the tracks, I realized I still hadn't reacted or had any emotions to the day. I was empty inside and felt incapable of even understanding what I was experiencing. As I write to you now, I have had time to think about and understand how I feel. I am angry and sad. But I am disgusted that this filthy, sick human beings were capable of doing this to mankind. Innocent people who never deserved any of this. It took me about a week to realize what I saw and how I felt. How devastated I was and how much it hurt to know what these people went through. Your whole life you say that you want to go visit Auschiwtz-Birkenau and you want to see everything for yourself. Then when you get there, you're speechless and you shut down. You don't know what to do or say. It is really an incredible thing the way it happens. I still think about what I saw everyday and I am still learning from this experience. I have decided my tour guide was right in saying there is no sense in being sad, but instead being angry. I am angry. I just can't believe what I saw. If anyone ever has the time and the money, GO. I have never experienced something like this and I will not go one day without thinking about it. It is really eye opening and one of the most enriching things I've ever done. It is so more than worth it. Give it a shot. Take a day and walk a mile in their shoes.

Poland was a beautiful place to visit and even though the traveling home was an utter nightmare, (ask JSBP how pleasant I was that day........) it was absolutely one of my favorite trips!
Plus, I am obsessed with the polish slippers I bought.

NICE KNOWNIN' YA! see you in Dublin!